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把怨恨带进新的一年，就好像手指上割了一道脏兮兮的伤口，却不处理、不包扎。它会痛，会发炎。原本只是一点小摩擦，久而久之却可能演变成一场长期的冷战。连家人之间，也可能因此多年失和、形同陌路。可惜的是，这样的事，在教会里也会发生。
也许你现在正带着一道新伤，或者是一道很久以前留下的旧伤。当伤得很深的时候，我们到底该怎么饶恕呢？
主耶稣不只是给了我们“要饶恕”的命令，祂还给了我们一个故事，推动、激励我们去饶恕。让我和你分享《不饶恕人的仆人》这个比喻（马太福音 18:21–35）中的四把钥匙，盼望它们能打开你心中饶恕的门。
一、不要给饶恕设上限
彼得问耶稣：“主啊，如果我的弟兄得罪我，我要饶恕他多少次？七次吗？”（21节）
这个问题其实很真实，也很人性化。我们本能地想给饶恕设一个“合理的上限”，就算我们已经很大方了，心里还是会想：“我不可能永远忍下去，总得有个底线吧。”
但耶稣回答说：“我告诉你，不是七次，而是七十个七次。”（22节）
“七十个七次”并不是一个精确的数字，而是一种说法，意思是：没有上限。
这并不是在纵容错误，而是在提醒我们：不要随意为饶恕画一条界线。饶恕不是算次数的。
二、看清自己被饶恕得有多深
比喻里，王要和一个欠他六千万银币的仆人算账。这是一个夸张到不可思议的数目——按当时的标准，差不多相当于一个普通工人 十六万年的工资，用今天的话说，简直是“天文数字”、“几乎等于无穷”。
就算把这个仆人、他的妻子、孩子，还有所有财产全卖了，债还是还不清。但这个仆人却说：“请宽容我，我会把一切还给你的。”（26节）
“一切“？这听起来，几乎有点脱离现实。
但王做的，远超过仆人的请求——他直接免了他的债。
其实，我们和这个仆人很像。我们往往严重低估了自己欠上帝的债。就算在最深切认罪的时候，我们仍然没有真正明白自己的罪有多重。你有没有想过，“被赦免永远的刑罚”到底意味着什么？
直到我们慢慢体会到：自己被饶恕得何等彻底，恩典才会真的变得“奇妙”。
三、把欠你的人，看作与你一样的“同伴”
这个刚刚被免债的仆人，一出门就遇见一个欠他一百银币的同事（大约三个月的工资）。他竟然一把”抓住“对方，“扼着他的喉咙”要他还钱。（28节）
问题的关键在于：他没有把对方当作“同伴”。
耶稣在这个比喻里，三次称那个人为“同作仆人的”（28、29、33节）。而且，这个欠他钱的仆人跪下来哀求，说的话，姿态，几乎和他自己刚才向王求饶时一模一样。
耶稣刻意这样描写，是要我们看清：他们的处境，其实是一样的。
当别人伤害我们时，我们很容易把自己放在道德高位，觉得自己比对方更好。让别人“欠着我们”，会让我们感觉有掌控感、有力量。
但上帝提醒我们：在祂面前，我们都是一样的人。惩罚别人、报复别人，不是我们的角色。最后的审判，交给天父。
四、你并不是“例外”
当王听说这件事后，就把那个仆人叫来，把他交给掌刑的人。真正震撼人的，是耶稣在最后说的这句话：
“如果你们各人不从心里饶恕你的弟兄，我的天父也必这样待你们。”（35节）
没有例外。
不是嘴上说说。
不是敷衍了事。
这个仆人不肯饶恕，显明他从来没有真正抓住恩典。表面上他被赦免了，实际上他从未活在恩典里。
同样地，如果我们始终不肯饶恕别人，也暴露出一个事实：我们并没有真正经历上帝的饶恕。
历史和现实中，有无数基督徒，在遭受极深、甚至无法弥补的伤害之后，仍然选择饶恕仇敌。即使因为对方没有悔改、没有道歉，关系无法真正修复，饶恕仍然可以发生——因为饶恕，只需要一个人，在心里决定：不再把对方当作欠债的人，不再让苦毒和敌意继续捆绑自己。
结语
此刻，想一想你生命中需要饶恕的人。向上帝祷告，求祂帮助你饶恕。
如果你现在想不到任何人，那就先立定心志：当下一次有人伤害你时，你要以一个浸泡在恩典与饶恕中的人来回应。
我很感恩，在教会里，曾无数次看见、也亲身经历饶恕的发生。每一次我们彼此饶恕，教会就真的更像一个家。那一刻，我们仿佛在地上，先尝到了一点天国的滋味。
Carrying a grudge over into another year is like leaving a dirty cut on your finger untreated and uncovered. It hurts and festers. What starts out as a squabble can degenerate into a long cold war. Even family have fallen out and become estranged for years. Sadly, this can happen in the church too. You might now be carrying a fresh wounds, or an old one. When the scars run deep, how do you forgive?
Our Lord has not just left us the command to forgive. He gave us a story that motivates us toward forgiveness. Let me share with you four keys from the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35) that I hope will unlock forgiveness in your heart.
1. Remove the limits on your forgiveness
Peter’s question – “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (v.21) – reflects out instinct is to impose a “reasonable limit” on forgiveness, even when we are being generous. We think, “I can’t put up with this forever. There needs to be a limit.” However, Jesus replies, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven” (v.22). “Seventy times seven” was a figure of speech that meant “infinite”. Without condoning wrong, we should not be imposing an arbitrary limit on our forgiveness.
2. Realise how much you are forgiven of
The king wanted to settle accounts with a servant who owed him ten thousand talents. This was a ridiculously big number (amounting to 160,000 years of wages by an average worker in Jesus’ day – the equivalent of “trillions” today!). Even after the servant himself, his wife, his children, and all his possessions were sold, the debt remained. Either out of desperation or detachment from reality, the servant promised, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything” (v.26). We know, though, that the king did more than the servant asked – he forgave him the debt. Like the servant, we have a really poor grasp how much we owe God. Even at the deepest point of our conviction over sin, we are still underestimating our offence. Do we know what it means to be pardoned an eternity of hell? Grace will not be amazing to us until we begin to grasp how much we have been forgiven.
3. Regard your debtor as your fellow
The servant went out, found his colleague who owed him a hundred denarii (slightly over three months’ pay), then “seized” and “choked” him (v.28). The servant did not regard his colleague as a fellow. Three times, Jesus describes this second servant as “fellow servant” of the first (v.28, 29, 33). The description of his falling to the ground and pleading, even the words spoken, were nearly identical to that of the first servant. Jesus was emphasising their common position. When somebody wrongs us, it is easy to see ourselves as their moral superior. Holding the person in our debt makes us feel powerful. But God wants us not to forget that we are all in the same standing before Him. It is not our place to punish our fellow by being vindictive or vengeful toward them. Leave the final reckoning to our Father.
4. Realize that your case is not exceptional
When the king heard about what had happened, he summoned the servant and delivered him to the torturers. The shock comes in v.35: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (v.35) No exceptions. No lip service. By refusing to forgive, the servant proved himself to be an outsider to grace. He never took hold of the grace offered to him. Likewise, if we are unwilling to forgive, we reveal that we have not experienced God’s forgiveness ourselves. Stories abound of how Christians have forgiven their enemies despite devastating and irreparable suffering at their hands. Even when reconciliation is prevented by the lack of repentance and apology by the offender, it only takes one to forgive by deciding in our heart to release the person from her debt owed to you, such that you no longer feel bitter or hostile towards her.
Conclusion
Think of people in your life now whom you need to forgive. Ask God for help to forgive. If nobody comes to mind, commit ahead of time to respond as one soaked in grace and forgiveness when somebody wrongs you. I am thankful for all the times I have witnessed and experienced forgiveness in the Church. Whenever we forgive one another, the church truly becomes a family. We get a taste of the Kingdom of Heaven right here on earth.