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卓恩和小珍结婚十年，有一个7岁的儿子安逸。两人工作都很忙，晚上回到家时常常已经精疲力尽。小珍很担心安逸不太适应上小学一年级的转变，也越来越焦虑，觉得孩子和他们变得疏远了。她想弥补，于是很紧地盯着安逸在学校的表现和作业，但最近这样反而让家里更容易起冲突。她抱怨卓恩太随意，对安逸不够上心。卓恩却觉得小珍 “太操心、太紧张”，应该让安逸自然成长。忙了一天，他只想放松一下，刷刷手机。他相信“顺其自然”，船到桥头自然直。

那到底谁对呢？他们应该为安逸关切到什么程度？

新约里“关切”和“忧虑”的意思

在中文里，“忧虑”常带负面意思；但在新约的希腊文中，“merimna”（名词）和“merimna-o”（动词）有很广的含义，可以是正面或中性的（如合理的关切），也可以是负面的。要看上下文，才能判断是好是坏。即使是负面，也有轻重不同的程度。这样我们就能把“关心”和“忧虑”看作一条光谱。

从正面看，“merimna”表达的是一种健康、合宜的关怀，建立在对上帝符合圣经的认识之上——相信祂掌权、智慧又良善。圣经里有这样的例子：

• “但神却这样把身体组成了：格外地把体面加给比较有缺欠的肢体，好使肢体能够互相照顾 (“merimna”)，免得身体上有了分裂。”（林前12：24-25）
• ^“除了这些外面的事，还有为各教会挂心 (“merimna”) 的事，天天压在我的身上。”（林后11：28）
• “没有人【像提摩太一样】与我同心，真正关心 (“merimna-o”) 你们的事… ”（腓2：20）

但当我们对上帝的认识不稳固时，“merimna”就会越界，变成忧虑和焦急。圣经中也有很多提醒：

• “所以我告诉你们，不要为生命忧虑 (“merimna-o”) 吃甚么喝甚么，也不要为身体忧虑穿甚么。”（太6：25）
• “那撒在荆棘里的，就是人听了道，有今世的忧虑 (“merimna”) 和财富的迷惑把道挤住，结不出果实来。”（太13：22）
• “主回答她：“马大，马大，你为许多事操心 (“merimna-o”) 忙碌… ”（路10：41）

更强烈的焦虑会变成惧怕，甚至引发恐慌。有些人会发展出强迫性的行为，想用这些方式来控制内心深处的不安。

活出敬虔的关心，而不是忧虑

我们需要分辨：什么是敬虔的关切，什么是忧虑。上帝托付给我们的责任，理当认真看待。我们要主动关心家庭、所托付的事、人与人的关系，以及自己的属灵生命。这样的关切会推动我们用信心和顺服去行动。

但也要看见：关切若失去根基，就可能变成忧虑——而忧虑常常源于我们在实际生活中对上帝缺乏信靠。在之后的文章里，我们还会看见上帝的话语中，针对忧虑和惧怕的丰富帮助。

回到卓恩和小珍的故事，两个人其实都需要悔改：卓恩要为躲避责任、缺少关切而悔改；小珍要为过度忧虑和焦躁而悔改。他们都应当关心与安逸的关系，以及他的情感成长；但这种关切，需要建立在对上帝稳固的认识上——相信祂是掌权、智慧、良善的父。

Distinguishing Between Concern and Worry

John and Jane have been married for ten years with a 7 year-old son, Andy. They are both busy working professionals and are exhausted by the time they get home in the evening. Jane is worried that Andy is not coping well with his transition to Primary One and even more anxious that he is increasingly distant from them. She tries to make up for it by monitoring Andy’s actions in school and homework very closely, but lately that seems to have caused more friction in the family. She complains that John is too laidback and does not care enough about Andy. John, on the other hand, thinks that Jane should stop “fussing and fretting” and just let Andy be. John just wants to relax and scroll his phone at the end of a busy work day. He believes that “nature will take its course” and all will work out in the end.

Is John or Jane right? How concerned should John and Jane be about Andy?

“Concern” and “Worry” in the New Testament

Unlike in English, the Greek word for “worry” in the New Testament – “merimna” (noun) / “merimna-o” (verb) – carries a wide range of meanings that can be positive (such as legitimate care), neutral, or negative. The context tells us whether to interpret the word positively or negatively. Even when used negatively, the word can represent varying degrees of worry. This helps us to see concern and worry in terms of a spectrum, illustrated in this diagram:

Positively, merimna conveys a healthy care or concern for a legitimate thing, undergirded by a biblical view of God as sovereign, wise and good. Here are some Scriptural examples of merimna as positive concern:

• “But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care (“merimna”) for one another.” (1 Cor 12:24-25)
• “Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern (“merimna”) for all the churches.” (2 Cor 11:28 in the NIV)
• “For I have no one like [Timothy], who will be genuinely concerned (“merimna-o”) for your welfare.” (Phil 2:20)

When we function with a less-than-biblical view of God, however, merimna crosses the line into the negative sense of worry or anxiety. worry. Examples of this negative sense are plenty in Scripture:

• “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious (“merimna-o”) about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.” (Matt 6:25)
• “As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares (“merimna”) of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.” (Matt 13:22)
• But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious (“merimna-o”) and troubled about many things…” (Lk 10:41)

Stronger degrees of anxiety become fears and can even trigger panic episodes. Some develop obsessive-compulsive behaviours in a bid to manage these deep anxieties.

Exercise Godly Concern, Not Worry

We need to recognise the distinction between godly concern and worry. It is right for us to care about the duties God has entrusted to us. We need to be proactively concerned about our families, our stewardship, our relationships, and our spiritual life. This concern galvanizes us to act in obedience and faith.

But recognise also that this concern can morph into worry – which stems from a deficient functional view of God. In later articles, we will explore the rich help we have in God’s word for worry and fear.

Going back to the “John and Jane” case study, we see that both John and Jane need to repent – John of his abdication of responsibility and lack of concern; Jane of her worry and anxiety. Both of them ought to be concerned about their relationship with Andy and his emotional development, but this concern needs to be undergirded by a robustly biblical view of God as our sovereign, wise, and good Father.