Recently, we had a discussion in our youth ministry on how to tell if the person asking you out for a date is a true believer. A total of 15 points was discussed in evaluating if a person is a true believer or not since not all who say they are Christians are true Christians just as Paul says not all Israel is Israel. The discussion concluded with the importance of knowing and being ready with regards to how best to turn down an unbeliever’s request for a date. The following is taken from Lee and Leslie’s Strobel’s book: Spiritual Mismatch (chapter 10).
“It is important how you decline an unbeliever’s request for a date. You could inadvertently chase him further from God if you make him think that you are rejecting him because unbelievers are inferior to Christians. Don’t send the subtle message: “I’m good, you’re bad, so stay away from me.” It’s better to gently explain, “I’m a Christian, and it’s important for me to go out with people who share the same values and beliefs so that we’re on the same page spiritually. Otherwise, there are important parts of our lives we can’t share.” That seems to make sense even to most atheists. But what if he says he wants to learn more about Christianity and that you might be the best possible teacher?
That brings us to our last point.
Resist the temptation to do missionary dating. The problem with stories about Christians dating unbelievers and then leading them to Christ is that they are the exception to the rule. The chances are far higher that you will be pulled away from your faith than he or she will embrace what you believe. Remember that it is wrong to knowingly violate God’s injunction against unequally yoked relationships. While it is natural and healthy to be concerned about the salvation of a potential dating partner, the best approach is to connect him with a member of the same sex to talk about the gospel, give him a Christian book to read, invite him to your church or Christian youth group, and pray for him. You can take all those positive steps without putting yourself in harm’s way.”
